Short, Kaylee

Being a parent is hard and comes with many challenges. Children misbehave because they often have difficulty following directions, and they may push their parents’ buttons to get what they want. It’s important for parents and caretakers to put support in place (e.g., a go-to person who can help when needed) to ensure they can raise their children in a healthy, effective way regardless of the challenges they face. When parents’ actions harm their child emotionally or physically, they are committing child abuse (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, n.d.). And while child abuse is on the decline, it’s still a pervasive problem in the United States today (Children’s Bureau, 2020). This article will discuss a few contexts in which child abuse can occur, stress management suggestions for parents, and available resources for child abuse prevention, specifically within the military. Understanding Child Abuse Children who experience abuse can suffer long-term effects on their physical and mental health, such as depression, anxiety, and chronic health conditions (Maschi et al., 2013). Research and social learning theory (i.e., modeling behaviors observed in one’s environment; McMillen & Rideout, 1996) show that child abuse often occurs within a family cycle: if you have experienced abuse yourself, you are more likely to abuse as a parent (Morgan et al., 2022). Similarly, children who see fewer examples of emotional regulation from their parents or caregivers will have fewer opportunities to learn such skills and become more likely to perpetuate the cycle (Osborne et al., 2021). In addition to the role of generational abuse, the challenges that new parents face also can also contribute. Parenthood is stressful enough, but the COVID-19 pandemic demonstrated how compounding stress affects families. The pandemic heightened stressors for parents, but their typical resources (e.g., daycare, school), perceptions (e.g., thoughts about how a stressful event may affect their family), and coping strategies (e.g., creating positive meaning, social support) were less effective, which, in turn, increased child maltreatment (Wu & Xu, 2020). When parents have reduced coping skills and a decreased ability to regulate their own emotions, their children can be less likely to develop the same skills (Osborne et al., 2021). Additionally, parents with maltreatment histories themselves often struggled with regulating their emotions then passed the struggles to their children (Osborne et al., 2021), in turn hindering an effective coping skill these children might use when experiencing stress as an adult. How to Cope Identifying healthier coping skills and means of emotional regulation (e.g., not holding onto anger) can be one way for parents to improve their well-being and limit opportunities for abuse. Some potential coping skills are: Creating a community for social support Talking with other parents about their coping skills Taking relaxation breaks (e.g., deep breathing, listening to music), even if only for 5 minutes Asking for help (e.g., with errands, babysitting) from community and friends Finding and using professional support when stress begins to pile up or when parents can no longer manage their stressors alone (APA, 2011). Prevention Efforts and Resources for Military Communities Just like civilian populations, military families can experience child abuse, and may even perpetrate it. Thankfully, the military has developed programs to support families and children experiencing abuse. One such program is the Family Advocacy Program (FAP), which works to prevent abuse and provide treatment for those affected by abuse. FAP also supports military families and connects them to local resources. Another program for Service members and their families is the After Deployment Adaptive Parenting Tools (ADAPT) program. At-risk families can use this program to build resilience, strengthen emotional regulation, and improve overall family well-being. The ADAPT program (which has been researched extensively) seeks to improve family functioning by teaching core parenting skills, such as teaching through encouragement, problem-solving, and emotional socialization. The New Parent Support Program assists military parents and expecting parents with transitioning into parenthood and developing a nurturing home. The program’s goal is to help parents build strong, healthy bonds with their children and manage the demands of parenting within the context of the military and its already-stressful job demands (e.g., deployment). Support and Resources for Those Who Have Experienced Abuse Having community support is essential to creating a buffer between oneself and the negative outcomes of child abuse. We know that experiencing abuse can lead to repeating the cycle with a child’s future family; however, there are also protective factors predictive of greater long-term psychological well-being for children (Siddiqui, 2015). Examples of such factors include receiving love from siblings or people outside of the family and participating in activities outside the home (e.g., school sports). These experiences can heighten a child’s sense of social support (Fasihi Harandi et al., 2017) and self-esteem (Liu et al., 2021). If you or your loved one experienced childhood abuse and still struggle with its effects, know that you are not alone. Below is a list of resources to help improve your well-being. Suicide & Crisis Line – 988 (https://988lifeline.org/) Child Help (https://childhelphotline.org/) MilParent Power ToolKit (https://www.militaryonesource.mil/parenting/children-youth-teens/milparent-power-toolkit/) Child Abuse Report Line for Military Families (877-790-1197 + 571-372-5348) It is important that we find healthy ways of coping with our stress so we can be positive role models for our children and families. If you need help coping, look within your community for mental health support programs or parenting classes (APA, 2008). Helping professionals should stay on top of reporting requirements and help their families create safe, loving environments for their children (APA, 2008). We still have a long way to go in preventing and limiting child abuse cases – ultimately, though, prevention starts with us.

Family Story

https://militaryreach.auburn.edu/ffChildAbuseAwareness.jsp

White, Micaela

Military Spouse Appreciation Day is celebrated annually in May as part of National Military Appreciation Month. This holiday serves as a reminder to honor the special ways military spouses serve. Military spouses support Service members and nurture families amid many challenges that come with military life. I had the honor of connecting with military spouse and oncology pharmacist, Julie Anne Waterfield. Julie Anne’s spouse recently retired after 22 years of service in the U.S. Army, and her story is a testament to the sacrifice and commitment of military spouses. When I connected with Julie Anne, I was curious to know if there were any words or themes that she would use to describe her years of experience as a military spouse. I was hopeful that her personal ref lection could provide insight into the meaningful contributions of a military spouse. The words/themes that resonated with her were rewarding, difficult, and unpredictable. “Rewarding: The Army has given us the gift of travel, adventure, and making friends from all over the globe. I have gained the ability to adapt to almost any situation and find normalcy in chaotic/unfamiliar situations or places. I can’t say I’ve handled it all gracefully, but I can say each difficult experience matured me and molded me into a much more adaptable version of myself than I was before.” “Difficult: The gift of travel I mentioned is not always a gift. The needs of the Army can often take you and/or your spouse away from family, into stressful or dangerous situations, and away from a support system.” “Unpredictable: Don’t ever try to make plans! (Kidding/not kidding). You just never know what kind of news or orders your spouse is going to deliver upon walking through your door at the end of the day. Sometimes it’s great news, and sometimes it’s not.” These themes emphasize the challenges many military spouses endure, as well as the strengths they gain from their service. It is always important to have a strong support system to help you through difficult times, particularly when the military is an integral part of your life. Julie Anne reiterated the importance of building a support system within the military community. “Having a spouse that is deployed or on temporary duty (TDY) for a large portion of your time at a duty station can be tough – especially if you’re stationed far from family. To overcome this, you just have to make your military family your new support system. Making friends with neighbors and connecting with other spouses will make or break your experiences.” Another avenue for building your support system is by making connections to those with whom you work. However, if you are a professional in a specialized field that requires extensive training, it may be difficult finding a job at each of your new permanent change of stations (PCS). Therefore, you may have to put a pause on your career goals to accommodate your military life. Julie Anne’s experience reflects that of many military spouses in professions with higher educational degree requirements. “For me, in a profession that requires state licensure, I found it difficult to further my career as much as I would have liked, given the time constraints of a job search and licensing requirements/testing versus the short time at a duty station (usually 2 years or less in our experience). I wish it had been easier for spouses with specialized careers to find jobs on post.” As Julie Anne alluded, life doesn’t always go as planned, and spouses may be required to take on many new roles and responsibilities to support their families. What does this look like? Well, it could require them to not work in their desired field, or not work at all, and, possibly, become the sole caretaker of their children due to their spouse’s deployment. Because of this, Julie Anne points out the need for others to provide non-judgmental support and understanding to military spouses. “There is no training to be a military spouse. The military members receive training to deal with the various stresses of military life. The spouses, however, are just winging it. Also, people may not know the reason a lot of military spouses don’t work. They may be providing childcare or may not have the time or resources to find a fitting job or further themselves professionally during the short time they are stationed somewhere before it is time to PCS again.” Military life can be tough, but like Julie Anne mentioned before, it is rewarding. Sometimes you just have to find the right helpful tips to continue pushing forward. Julie Anne wanted to share a few useful tips for fellow military spouses that have helped her out. They include practical travel advice and words of encouragement. We hope you can utilize and benefit from the practical advice she offers below: “American Express Platinum fees are waived for military members.” “Alaska Airlines flies dogs the cheapest.” "Delta Airlines gives free bottles of vodka to moms flying solo with kids while their husbands are overseas.” "Try to enjoy and find the good in each stage of your spouse’s career, even the hard stuff. Bloom where you are planted. One day you’ll miss it.” Military REACH would like to give a special thanks to Julie Anne and the Waterfield family for their service to our country and willingness to share.

Family Story

https://militaryreach.auburn.edu/ffWordsofWisdom.jsp

Gordon, Bri, Butler, Rexanne

One of the ongoing obstacles that military spouses face is employment — or the lack thereof. According to the Office of People Analytics’ (OPA) Active Duty Spouse Survey, 21% of active-duty spouses were unemployed in 2021, which is almost 6 times higher than the U.S. national average (3.4%; U.S. Department of Labor, 2023). Many military-related stressors (e.g., frequent relocations, spousal deployments) can contribute to high unemployment rates and underemployment (i.e., overqualified or working less than desired) for military spouses. Research shows that women who are married to an active-duty Service member and either do not have a college degree or have experienced relocation in the past year are more likely to be unemployed (Lara-Cinisomo et al., 2020). This piece will tackle biases and barriers associated with military spousal employment, discuss how employment can boost personal well-being, describe the skills and assets that spouses can bring to the workplace, and emphasize just how valuable military spouses can be as employees. Biases and Barriers to Military Spousal Employment There is a running list of obstacles preventing adequate employment for military spouses. For example, Godier-McBard and colleagues (2020) found that many civilian employers in the U.K. consider the military an inflexible organization and believe that hiring a military spouse may create challenges for their organization. Frequent relocations are an additional barrier that could disrupt the natural progression of a spouse’s career, especially if a job is not easily transferable (Lim & Schulker, 2010). In addition, a 2006 study found that a majority of military wives in the labor force tended to be underemployed (49%), and only 11% were adequately employed (Lim & Schulker, 2010). Of those 49%, over one-third were underemployed due to an educational mismatch (i.e., overqualification) (Lim & Schulker, 2010). These unfair barriers may be explained by the lack of standardization across states, especially regarding licensure. To give just one example, 35% of military spouses work in a field requiring licensure (e.g., nursing, dental hygiene; U.S. Department of the Treasury and U.S. Department of Defense, 2012). Specifically related to the nursing field, researchers found even after receiving access to information on topics such as state-specific licensing requirements and license maintenance, the lack of unified information resulted in confusion and frustration (Brannock & Bradford, 2021). License portability is another barrier for military spouses regarding continued employment. Because many practicing licenses (e.g., medical, mental health, attorney/lawyer, education) are issued only for the state in which one resides, military spouses are at a disadvantage due to frequent military-related relocations. Transferring a license to a new state or country takes time and effort: requirements may include several months’ time, multiple forms of documentation, and application fees, which can add up quickly if you move often (Tidwell, 2020). However, Congress has taken steps to address this issue by introducing the Comforting Our Military Families through On-base or Remote Treatment Act ( COMFORT Act). If passed, the COMFORT Act will allow for the coordination of programs within the Department of Defense such that those who maintain a non-medical license (e.g., counselors, psychologists, mental health professionals) can provide service anywhere in the U.S. (Goodale, 2021). The Act would increase employment opportunities for spouses while simultaneously meeting the need for more military mental health service providers. While it only applies to those who maintain a non-medical license, the COMFORT Act could be an excellent reference point to increase the portability of other types of licensure for military spouses. Benefits of Employment The importance of employment opportunities for military spouses cannot be understated. Employment seems to buffer military spouses against some military-related stressors, like deployment or relocation, and provide a valuable sense of self and contribution (Huffman et al., 2021). According to Kremer and colleagues (2021), employed individuals can experience: Greater life satisfaction and a sense of fulfillment Daily structure Frequent and consistent social interactions that can help build a sense of community The emotional satisfaction that comes with meaningful contributions to society Skills Military Spouses Bring to the Workforce Julie Anne, a now-retired military spouse, explained that she gained the “ability to adapt to almost any situation and find normalcy in chaotic/unfamiliar situations or places,” during her time as a military spouse (White, 2021). Military spouses are adaptable, finding ways to thrive in a variety of occupational settings (Bradbard et al., 2016). Military spouses have a plethora of skills that can be useful in any position, such as being team oriented, having the ability to find normalcy amidst the chaos, and successfully being able to engage across cultures. Most military spouses experience separation from friends and family, frequent relocations, and spousal deployments – but common experiences like these teach them to adapt quickly to whatever gets thrown their way. Military spouses are also team-oriented, a trait that largely matches the way military infrastructure runs: through camaraderie and mutual support. The nature of military life, with its frequent relocations, means that spouses and their families are exposed to a variety of different cultures. They have the potential to be among some of the most socially aware people you will ever meet (Bradbard et al., 2016), and their experiences in cross-cultural engagement are an asset in the workplace. Employment Resources for Military Spouses Although the biases of and barriers to military spousal employment are frequently recognized, leaders and policy makers are actively working to bridge the gap. Below are a few resources to help alleviate them: Military Spouse Education & Career Opportunities (MySECO) is a Department of Defense (DoD)-sponsored resource that provides educational and career guidance to military spouses, as well as tools and resources related to career exploration, education, training, licensing, and readiness. The Military Spouse Employment Partnership (MSEP) connects military spouses to employers dedicated to recruiting, hiring, and maintaining military spouse employees. The U.S. Department of Labor offers a comprehensive list of resources on licensing, employment, and available training for military spouses on their journey to find and maintain employment. My Career Advancement Account (MyCAA) offers financial assistance to eligible military spouses seeking to pursue or maintain a license, certification, or associate degree. The Military Spouse Career Connection at Walmart seeks to hire military spouses at Walmart and Sam’s Club. They also provide career counselors for the best job fit within their system. The Military Spouse and Family Educational Assistance Programs provide information on scholarships for military spouses seeking education. The programs offer Veterans Affairs scholarships, state benefits, private scholarships, and more. The Society of Military Spouses in STEM (SMSS) is a member-run organization focused on helping military spouses find careers in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) fields.

Family Story

https://militaryreach.auburn.edu/ffYoureValued.jsp