Marsh, Maddie, Jane Pride, Amanda

Deployment is associated with a wide range of challenges for Service members and their families. Civilian military spouses must adjust their household routines, which means becoming the primary parent and maintaining finances, while also coping with the physical separation of their partner’s deployment. This article will discuss findings from research studies related to pre-deployment and suggest ways couples can prepare for deployment. According to a recent research study conducted by Richardson and colleagues (2020), deployment-related resources (e.g., support from family and friends and/or a mental health provider) were associated with greater mental health for Service members and spouses, as well as with greater spousal deployment readiness (i.e., a spouse’s ability to manage the demands of deployment). In addition, Collins and colleagues (2017) found that pre-deployment preparation (e.g., communication plan during deployment, power of attorney) and stronger, more established marital relationships were related to lower depressive symptoms before deployment. Consistent with previous research on this topic, adequate resources are necessary to improve spousal pre-deployment preparedness. Preparation in the months leading up to deployment can alleviate many stressors many military couples experience. Below are a few suggestions and resources for helping military spouses with their deployment preparation: ● Lean on family and friends when you need support. Finding support among family, friends, or community is a way to alleviate deployment stress. Your support system can offer you guidance and assistance completing daily tasks, such as childcare, running errands, and cooking. To help develop your support network within your community, connect with new friends through activities you enjoy, such as working out or attending religious services. If you are interested in finding other military spouses to relate to, consider joining your installation’s Family Readiness Group or learning about the Spouse Ambassador Network. ● Strengthen your relationship with your partner. While preparing for deployment, it is easy to get caught up in the to-dos and leave your relationship on the back burner. It is important that couples prioritize their relationship as much as possible. Couples can do this by engaging in quality communication throughout their relationship – even during deployment. ● Therapy or counseling. Large life changes such as deployment can bring about stress and uncertainty. Having someone to work through these feelings with you can reduce your stress and help you feel more at ease. Individual or couples counseling is a great way to prepare couples for the challenges of deployment. Military OneSource offers a multitude of resources to connect you with the support you need. Military spouses play a key role in helping their families navigate deployment. Do not let the challenges of deployment catch you by surprise: successful navigation of deployment requires preparing before deployment. The tips we provided can help equip you for deployment – and possibly alleviate some of the stress that comes along with it.

Family Story

https://militaryreach.auburn.edu/ffSpousesandPreDeployment.jsp

Nichols, Lucy

The transitional stages of deployment, beginning with the anticipation of the departure and spanning the duration of the deployment through reintegration, are accompanied by a series of adjustments that influence family relationships, specifically couple relationships. Communication is key to navigating these transitional periods; however, knowing what to talk about during deployment can be tricky. Do you talk about the frustrating experience you had at the grocery store? What about the fun lunchbreak you had with your co-worker? Navigating conversation topics can be difficult. Research-based evidence from military couples suggests that there are specific types of communication and conversation topics that have been shown to influence relationship satisfaction during both deployment and reintegration. Conversation topics can include friendship talk, love talk, and problem talk. Friendship talk typically includes positive conversation topics and/or general re-capping of the day; love talk usually includes more affectionate remarks (e.g., I love you, I miss you, I can’t wait to see you); and problem talk includes both major and minor problems (e.g., an annoying co-worker, health problems of the at-home partner). All three of these conversation topics are bound to occur throughout the course of a deployment; therefore, hopefully these four tips can help you navigate communication with your service member during deployment. 1. Talk about day-to-day activities via phone and video calls During deployments, conversations regarding the day-to-day happenings, or friendship talk, may allow service members to feel more involved in their partner’s or family’s life, and ultimately lead to a smooth transition during reintegration. This is likely because the service members were kept in the loop during their deployment about the daily activities experienced by their families. Therefore, service members may benefit from regular communication with their at-home partners, even if their conversations are just about the seemingly “normal” day of their at-home partners (and families). 2. Send love letters to your partner One study found that love talk via writing letters and real-time communications were related to higher relationship satisfaction for service members. Although love talk during phone and video calls is important, letter writing can be a private and intimate way to communicate and initiate emotional connection. Writing love letters also provides a tangible connection between partners (e.g., we are thousands of miles apart but we both held this letter) and allows an individual the opportunity to continually re-read the affectionate words from their partner. 3. Discuss problems through letter writing Evidence has shown that expressing problem talk during phone and video calls was related to lower relationship satisfaction for service members and their at-home partners. An alternative solution to this is writing letters. Through this form of communication, the author may be able to think through the problems they want to discuss in a more thoughtful and productive manner. Problem talk through letter writing may also decrease the likelihood of an escalating argument, which may be more likely to occur in real-time conversations. Of course, some problems need to be discussed in real-time. In those situations, ensure that each partner has time to talk, allow your partner a moment to process the information, and agree to utilize a solution-focused approach to move forward. 4. Develop a flexible (and creative!) communication plan Partners may have differing perceptions of what communication will look like during deployment as well as different expectations and desires. Therefore, openly discussing and establishing communication goals before deployment and being willing to adapt during deployment tends to increase relationship satisfaction and reduce communication frustration. However, if you did not discuss communication expectations or establish a communication plan prior to deployment, you can still work together to achieve these goals for the remainder of the deployment. Finally, get creative with your communication! For example, you might each watch the same movie and then swap movie reviews via call or letter. The goal is to use communication, whether it is love, problem, or friendship talk, to maintain your connection.

Family Story

https://militaryreach.auburn.edu/4tips.jsp