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17 Apr 2020


Life has pretty much been one big, crazy adventure since the day I said “I Do” to my husband. Like many other military couples, we had plans to throw our dream wedding, but as soon as he was given orders overseas, our plans changed. The dream wedding plans quickly fell apart, and we ended up finding a preacher to marry us in his living room while his wife sat in the corner still wearing her pajamas and slippers. At least both sets of our parents were able to attend. Fast forward seven years and two kids later, a wedding doesn’t really seem all that important anymore, and everyone said that would happen. They were right.

We have lived overseas all seven years of my husband’s Air Force career. We started out on the beautiful island of Guam, and we are now finishing up a 3 year tour in Belgium. Lucky would be an understatement. Even though we have been blessed by the Assignment gods, life still has its snags.

I had just completed my Bachelor’s Degree 3 months before jetting off to Guam. I was a young, child-free, and educated woman ready to take on the working world. The base we lived on was huge with thousands of people. That meant thousands of spouses all competing to get a job. I was not one of the lucky ones. I eventually gave up on trying to get a job and took pleasure in enjoying my new island home and eventually starting a family. I had pretty much settled into the stay-at-home mom life, and I loved it. Once we moved to our next base in Belgium, I was given the opportunity to join the work force again. With only five jobs available to spouses on the entire base, I couldn’t pass on the opportunity. Of course, with my luck I would find out I was pregnant with my second child one week before my hire date. I had finally entered into the adult world again and was determined to take on this new job. Nothing could stop me. I fought through the morning sickness and swollen feet, and here I am two years later. Except now I am working from home unexpectedly like so many other people during this insane plot twist that 2020 has decided to throw us.

I went from working alone in my nice and quiet office to working from home with my two new, tiny co-workers. And these new co-workers never stop eating. My husband’s hours have been cut back some, but he is still having to go into work on a regular basis. My job requires me to be available to video chat for a few hours a day, so you can imagine what life has been like with two loud and very needy colleagues.

It has been a struggle to say the least, but the biggest struggle of them all is knowing that I will have to give up this job in a couple of months. I have to give up a job that I have invested two years of my life into. I have to give up the people who I have bonded with. I have to give up the confidence in finally knowing my job entirely. And I have to give all of this up because my husband has received a new assignment. I am extremely grateful for the time I have had and the opportunity to travel the world, but I can PLANS CHANGE still feel the sting of losing something that was solely mine. On top of giving all of these things up, I am gaining fears and insecurities of what the near future will bring. If I have to stay home with my kids again, will I be a good enough Mom? Will I lose part of myself? If I am able to find another job, is the daycare trustworthy? Is the money worth it? I know I am not alone in feeling this way, and I know we will figure things out, like we always do.

Being flexible is probably one of the most important things you can be as a military spouse. Our futures, especially during this pandemic, are constantly up in the air. I can never answer the question of “where do you see yourself in 5 years”, because well, I have no idea. Every duty station is an opportunity to meet new people, experience new cultures, and embark on new adventures. Each place we have had the honor of visiting now holds a permanent place in our hearts. We can lose ourselves in the fears and insecurities or we can choose to see each new move as a fresh start built on past experiences. Jobs come and go, but having a military community to step into the roles that family normally would fill is priceless, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

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