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Military REACH Publications
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1.Changes in guilt cognitions mediate the effect of trauma-informed guilt reduction therapy on PTSD and depression outcomes

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2.Association between different conceptualizations of guilt and suicidality in combat veterans: A model comparison
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3.Trauma-related guilt and posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms in military veterans: The role of psychological inflexibility

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4.Contemporary parenting and its association with parents’ well-being in the face of COVID-19: The mediating role of guilt

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5.Interpersonal and trauma-related guilt moderate the relationship between intensity of combat experiences and suicidality

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6.Observing the moderating role of self-compassion among veterans and service members with moral injury, shame, and guilt
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7.Exposure to civillian casualties is related to guilt and suicidality in post 9/11 veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan

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8.Exposure, agency, perceived threat, and guilt as predictors of posttraumatic stress disorder in veterans
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9.A critical outlook on combat-related PTSD: Review and case reports of guilt and shame as drivers for moral injury

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10.Trauma Informed Guilt Reduction (TrIGR) therapy for guilt, shame, and moral injury resulting from trauma: Rationale, design, and methodology of a two-site randomized controlled trial

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11.Associations between trauma-related guilt, symptoms of posttraumatic stress disorder, and problematic alcohol use

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12.Changes in guilt cognitions in intensive PTSD treatment among veterans who experienced military sexual trauma or combat trauma

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13.Guilt is more strongly associated with suicidal ideation among military personnel with direct combat exposure
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14.Examining the daily relationship between guilt, shame, and substance use among veterans with psychiatric disorders

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15.The role of posttraumatic guilt and anger in integrated treatment for PTSD and co-occurring substance use disorders among primarily male veterans

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16.The Interpersonal Guilt Rating Scale 15 Item Self-Report Version (IGRS-15s): Exploring the factor structure and psychometric properties in a sample of American post 9/11 active-duty and veteran military personnel

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17.How work-related guilt informs parenting and adolescent psychological distress in military families
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18.Psychosocial predictors of chronic pain perception among military combat and noncombat veterans
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19.Posttraumatic stress disorder, guilt, depression, and meaning in life among military veterans

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20.Comparing exposure- and coping skills–based treatments on trauma-related guilt in veterans with co-occurring alcohol use and posttraumatic stress disorders

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Research summaries convey terminology used by the scientists who authored the original research article; some terminology may not align with the federal government's mandated language for certain constructs.
AMBIGUOUS LOSS AMONG MILITARY FAMILIES
(334) 844-3299 MilitaryREACH@auburn.edu HOME ABOUT MILITARY REACH LIBRARY UPDATES RESOURCES SEARCH 24 MAY 2024 AMBIGUOUS LOSS AMONG MILITARY FAMILIES By Bri Gordon and Ashtyn Grace KingEditors Kate Abbate Meet Joe, a 14-year-old starting high school soon. He is a very outgoing kid who loves his family and all things sports. He is preparing to receive his learner’s permit and is excited to start driving. However, his dad is getting ready to leave for a year-long deployment. Joe is starting to feel guilty about wanting to learn to drive, because he wants his dad to be in the passenger seat instead of preparing to be across the world. Fast forward two weeks, his dad has just left for deployment overseas. Joe and his mom are getting acclimated to their “new normal” while also getting back into the routine of school, studying, and extracurricular activities. When Joe arrives home from his first day of school, he and his mom sit down to call his dad to catch up. Joe talks about his teachers, the classes he is taking, and how he signed up to try out for the Junior Varsity Golf Team. Before his dad deployed, they used to bond over watching golf and playing together whenever they got the chance. Joe believed that signing up for the team would make him feel as if his dad was still here, but instead it caused him to feel depressed and anxious. Joe would much rather his dad be here physically playing golf with him, rather than telling him about it over the phone. Joe may be experiencing a concept known as ambiguous loss. What is Ambiguous Loss? Ambiguous loss was a theory first conceptualized by Pauline Boss, a family stress researcher (Boss, 1986). She defined ambiguous loss as an individual being physically present but psychologically absent (Boss, 1999). Ambiguous loss was then categorized into two different subtypes: ambiguous absence and ambiguous presence (Boss, 2002). Within a military family, ambiguous absence can occur when a Service member is physically absent but psychologically present, such as on deployment (Faber et al., 2008). Those facing either type of ambiguous loss may experience behavioral changes (e.g., acting out, emotion dysregulation), changes in their mental health (e.g., anxiety, depression), in addition to conflicts in their relationships (Huebner, 2007). Joe is beginning to feel distant from his dad because he is so far away. By the time he returns from deployment, Joe will have his driver’s license and improved in playing golf. Joe gets to tell his dad all about these milestones, but they don’t get to experience them together. This has caused Joe to build resentment towards his dad for not being there for him through these big life events. The opposite of ambiguous absence is ambiguous presence, which is when people are physically present but psychologically absent. For Service members this could occur due to a traumatic brain injury or posttraumatic stress disorder (Boss, 2002). The family member is physically present but might feel as if they are a different person because they are psychologically absent. A year has finally passed, and Joe’s dad is back from his deployment, but he seems distant, causing a change in their relationship. After several nightmares and increased anxiety, his dad was diagnosed with PTSD. Because of potential triggers, his dad tries to avoid large crowds, causing him to be unable to support Joe at his golf tournaments. His dad is also not as interested in golfing together, preferring to stay at home and sleep. This causes Joe to feel angry, spiteful, and discouraged about their relationship. Many military families may face ambiguous loss at some point, and it’s important to understand that it can present itself differently depending on the situation. When trying to navigate something as uncertain as ambiguous loss, it is important to understand what it may look like within your family (and yourself) to properly address and cope with it. Resources on Ambiguous Loss For our family readers: If you or a loved one are experiencing loss, check out these resources to assist in navigating it and/or locating a provider. Military OneSource: Military OneSource provides support and resources to military families who are grieving. If your grief involves ambiguous loss related to the possibility of losing a loved one (e.g., Missing in Action & Prisoner of War), consider reading more about the resources that are available to you. Ambiguous Loss by Everyday Health: This resource provides nine helpful tips on what to do when coping with ambiguous loss within your life. Some of the coping strategies include spending time with others and knowing that your loss is valid. It is also great for those who are interested in reading more information on ambiguous loss. For our practitioner readers: Check out these links to better understand and recognize ambiguous loss within your clientele: The National Council on Family Relations (NCFR) Ambiguous Loss Resources: NCFR provides a collection of resources including links to online media (e.g. webinars, conference recordings, recorded presentations), scholarly articles from NCFR’s journals, articles from NCFR Report magazine, and papers on theory and research development for ambiguous loss. Pauline Boss Publication List on Ambiguous Loss: This resource includes books available for purchase to learn more about ambiguous loss, Dr. Boss’s scholarly publication list, interviews with Dr. Boss throughout her career, and linked media to news and discussion articles about ambiguous loss. RECENT STORIES Related Stories in References Boss, P. (1986). Psychological absence in the intact family: A systems approaches to a study of fathering. Marriage & Family Review, 10(1), 11–39. https://doi.org/10.1300/J002v10n01_02 Boss, P. (1999). Insights: Ambiguous loss: Living with frozen grief. The Harvard Mental Health Letter, 16 (5), 4-6. Boss, P. (2002). Family stress management: A contextual approach. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications. Faber, A. J., Willerton, E., Clymer, S. R., MacDermid, S. M., & Weiss, H. M. (2008). Ambiguous absence, ambiguous presence: A qualitative study of military reserve families in wartime. Journal of Family Psychology, 22 (2), 222–230. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.22.2.222 Huebner, A. J., Mancini, J. A., Wilcox, R. M., Grass, S. A., & Grass, G. A. (2007). Parental deployment and youth in military families: Exploring uncertainty and ambiguous loss. Family Relations, 56(2), 112-122. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2007.00445.x MOBILIZING RESEARCH, PROMOTING FAMILY READINESS. Our Partners Auburn University University of Georgia Department of Defense US Department of Agriculture 203 Spidle Hall, Auburn University, Auburn, Alabama 36849 Military REACH Department of Human Development and Family Sciences (334) 844-3299 MilitaryREACH@auburn.edu Contact Us Website Feedback Stay Connected with Military REACH These materials were developed as a result of a partnership funded by the Department of Defense (DoD) between the DoD's Office of Military Community and Family Policy and the U.S. Department of Agriculture/National Institute of Food and Agriculture (USDA/NIFA) through a grant/cooperative agreement with Auburn University. USDA/NIFA Award No. 2021-48710-35671. Last Update: March 2024 2017 - 2024 All Right Reserved - Military REACHPrivacy Statement| Accessibility Plan This website uses cookies to improve the browsing experience of our users. Please review Auburn University’s Privacy Statement for more information. Accept & Close
MILITARY FAMILY READINESS: AN OVERVIEW
HOME ABOUT MILITARY REACH LIBRARY UPDATES RESOURCES 12 APR 2024 MILITARY FAMILY READINESS: AN OVERVIEW By Emily Wright, Allison L. Tidwell, and Emily HansonEditors Kate Abbate You may have seen in a REACH publication, the news, or other forms of media the importance of military family readiness – but have you ever wondered what the phrase really means? In this article, we'll follow the fictional Stanley family as they navigate military life. Through these events we will explain what military family readiness is, how it influences family functioning, and what resources the military has created to promote military family readiness. What is military family readiness? The term readiness is commonly referred to throughout military culture in reference to Service members. The Department of Defense (DoD) defines readiness as "the ability of military forces to fight and meet the demands of assigned missions" (Joint Chiefs of Staff, 2017, p. 195). Blake Stanley is a 30-year-old active-duty Soldier preparing for deployment in one month – for Blake, readiness means that they are physically and mentally fit and ready to adapt during deployment. For their partner Sam and 4-year-old child Alex, though, readiness is much broader. Military family readiness differs from Service member readiness in that it is "the state of being prepared within the unique context of military service, to effectively navigate the challenges of daily living and military transitions" (Office of the Under Secretary of Defense for Personnel and Readiness, 2021, p. 54). Assessing military family readiness is not a matter of determining whether a family is "ready or not," but rather a matter of describing the family's capacity to handle the challenges they encounter. Therefore, military families need to have adequate means to overcome both military (e.g., relocation, deployment) and normative (e.g., parenting stress) stressors. Although Blake is physically and mentally prepared for deployment, they must navigate this upcoming transition with Sam and Alex as well. Currently, Blake and Sam share childcare tasks like daycare drop-offs and meal planning, as well as alternating planning date nights every week. When Blake is deployed for the next six months, Sam must now do all daycare drop-offs as well as grocery pick-ups and meal preparation. Because of the time difference, Blake will only be able to video call once a week at 10:00am, right in the middle of the workday. To adjust successfully as a family during deployment, Blake, Sam, and Alex will have to establish a new sense of "normal." Family scientists frequently gauge "readiness" by evaluating functioning across individual family members, family relationships, and life domains (Hawkins et al., 2018; see Figure 1). By capturing insight into these various aspects of family functioning, we can gain a holistic understanding of families' readiness to respond to stress and change. When determining what comprises family readiness, it is important to view the family as a group of interdependent members who are constantly influenced by each other. Thus, when one member of the family system or one area of the system is not at optimal functioning, the rest of the system may not function at its best. The stress of the upcoming deployment has led Blake to feel anxious, along with the rest of their family. Sam is worried about how to handle caring for Alex alone for the next 6 months. Alex has picked up on both of their parents' moods and has started crying more frequently due to the stress. To help ease everyone's stress, Sam plans a family picnic for the three of them to discuss communication expectations while Blake is gone and strategize how Alex can keep in touch with them. This comes as a relief to the family, as there is one less concern to worry about. Why does military family readiness matter? Military family readiness is a primary objective for the Department of Defense, as maintaining ready families ensures maintaining a ready defense force (Office of the Under Secretary of Defense for Personnel and Readiness, 2012). Spillover is a commonly cited concern for military family readiness; that is, issues at home may influence Service members' performance at work, while in other cases, issues at work may negatively affect family functioning (Escarda et al., 2022). For example, when couples encounter communication difficulties or marital conflict during deployment, the Service member may be distracted by their relationship issues and therefore less able to complete their military-related duties (Cater et al., 2015). Blake and Sam agree to prioritize video calls, and Sam coordinated with their boss to allow them to block one hour of their schedule as long as they can stay after an extra hour. They both look forward to the call every day, and it is a relief to have a scheduled and predictable time together to meet. Knowing when they can expect a call helps Blake focus on their deployment-related duties during the week. To ensure that Service members' capacity to perform their duties is not impeded by family-related issues, it is necessary for the Department of Defense to place an emphasis on military family readiness (Lester et al., 2011). Not only is family readiness important for ensuring that Service members are ready to perform their military duties, but it is also critical for the retention of Service members in the military. The decision made by many Service members to enter the military or to remain in the military is often determined by financial, social, and relational functioning. For instance, when families encounter work-family conflict due to family life stressors, like having multiple children or worrying about finances, they tend to report less satisfaction with military life and are therefore more likely to separate from the military (Woodall et al., 2023). After two weeks of longer workdays and having to ask the neighbor to pick up Alex from daycare, Sam starts to feel overwhelmed and asks Blake if they can reduce the number of 10am calls. Blake can't stop thinking about Sam's stress and starts to feel guilty about being gone for so long. This is their third deployment, and this happens every time. For the sake of their family, Blake wonders if it's just easier to leave the military. Indicators of Family Readiness Figure 1. Indicators of Family Readiness (Hawkins et al., 2018, p. ES-3) Promoting readiness through the Military Family Readiness System Family functioning and readiness is further supported through the Military Family Readiness System. The Department of Defense created the Military Family Readiness System to serve as a network of programs and services which promote military family well-being, readiness, resilience, and quality of life. Since the 10:00am call has been causing some tension, Sam and Blake decide to download the Love Every Day app to communicate and connect throughout the day. Sam decides to join their installation's Family Readiness Group to connect with other spouses and parents that have experienced the stress of deployment. When Blake is preparing to return home, the couple watches a webinar on family reunions to spark conversation about how to manage expectations. Although the deployment process was stressful for each family member, utilizing these resources helped the Stanley family cope with military and normative stressors, as well as help Blake feel confident with continuing their military career. RECENT STORIES Related Stories in References Escarda, M. G., Arroyo, Y. A., & Redondo, R. J. P. (2022). Work-family spillover in the Spanish armed forces. Community, Work & Family, 25(3), 374-388. https://doi.org/10.1080/13668803.2020.1771284 Hawkins, S. A., Condon, A., Hawkins, J. N., Liu, K., Ramirez, Y. M., Nihill, M. M., & Tolins, J. (2018). What we know about military family readiness: Evidence from 2006-2017. Research Facilitation Laboratory Army Analytics Group, and Office of the Deputy Under Secretary of the Army. https://apps.dtic.mil/sti/pdfs/AD1050341.pdf Joint Chiefs of Staff. (2017). DOD dictionary of military and associated terms. Department of Defense. https://www.tradoc.army.mil/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/AD1029823-DOD-Dictionary-of-Military-and-Associated-Terms-2017.pdf Lester, P., Leskin, G., Woodward, K., Saltzman, W., Nash, W., Mogil, C., Paley, B., & Beardslee, W. (2011). Wartime deployment and military children: Applying prevention science to enhance family resilience. In S. MacDermid Wadsworth & D. Riggs (Eds.), Risk and resilience in U.S. military families (pp. 149–173). Springer. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4419-7064-0_8 Office of the Under Secretary of Defense for Personnel and Readiness. (August 5, 2021). Military family readiness (DoD Instruction 1342.22). Department of Defense. https://www.esd.whs.mil/Portals/54/documents/DD/issuances/dodi/134222p.pdf Woodall, K. A., Esquivel, A. P., Powell, T. M., Riviere, L. A., Amoroso, P. J., & Stander, V. A. (2023). Influence of family factors on service members' decisions to leave the military. Family Relations, 72(3), 1138-1157. https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12757 MOBILIZING RESEARCH, PROMOTING FAMILY READINESS. Our Partners Auburn University University of Georgia Department of Defense US Department of Agriculture 203 Spidle Hall, Auburn University, Auburn, Alabama 36849 Military REACH Department of Human Development and Family Sciences (334) 844-3299 MilitaryREACH@auburn.edu Contact Us Website Feedback Stay Connected with Military REACH These materials were developed as a result of a partnership funded by the Department of Defense (DoD) between the DoD's Office of Military Community and Family Policy and the U.S. Department of Agriculture/National Institute of Food and Agriculture (USDA/NIFA) through a grant/cooperative agreement with Auburn University. USDA/NIFA Award No. 2021-48710-35671. Last Update: March 2024 2017 - 2024 All Right Reserved - Military REACHPrivacy Statement| Accessibility Plan This website uses cookies to improve the browsing experience of our users. Please review Auburn University’s Privacy Statement for more information. Accept & Close
PRIORITIZING VETERANS' VOICES AS A UNIVERSITY LIBRARIAN
Most public universities identify as “veteran friendly” campuses, and frequently provide outreach events and programs for veterans to help build a sense of community and support system for these students. While the intentions of the universities are good, as a student veteran, I often found myself not wanting to participate in these events, as they often felt insincere and unattuned with military culture, customs, and norms. Anecdotally, these events felt infantilizing to me personally, (use of military terminology like “Basic Training”, “Bootcamp”), or too boilerplate (overuse of red, white, and blue, bunting, and being overtly patriotic. In this piece, I will share about my role as a faculty librarian, the lens through which I develop and design veteran programs, and my call to action for those who design and facilitate programs for veterans. From Student Veteran to Faculty Librarian As a university librarian, I interface with student veterans regularly. I have begun to branch out and begin various programming and outreach efforts at my institution, and my goal is to prioritize veteran voices in authentic and respectful ways. Specific departments at universities often develop and implement programming or events for veterans, including advising offices, veteran centers, and libraries. Outreach and programming are considered an implicit part of librarians’ duties. Part of my role involves developing events, book displays, instruction opportunities and outreach efforts for a variety of student populations, including student veterans. Sometimes this outreach looks like “roving reference” within the veteran center where I visit our campus veteran center and sit down with my laptop, making myself physically available for any questions or reference help in a veteran centric space. Other times this outreach can look like curating a specific book display for resources related to veteran issues, or it can involve creating independent study opportunities for student veterans interested in research. Veteran Critical Theory and Program Development Veteran Critical Theory (VCT) is one lens that I apply to my work, and it has been instrumental when designing and implementing programming. VCT stems from the burgeoning field of Veteran Studies, which investigates the multifaceted experiences of veterans and military families. These investigations include the various intersections of power structures, identities, and individual experiences that both veterans and military families can experience and encounter. Considering that Veteran Studies is a relatively new field of study, VCT has been one of the most critical and inclusive theories that attempts to center veteran voices in Veteran Studies discourse. I utilize VCT as a framework within my own work because of how much it centers veteran voices and the intersections of different identities. Proposed by Phillips and Lincoln, VCT attempts to view the structures and systems that affect veterans through a critical lens. VCT is heavily influenced through other critical theories like feminist theory, critical race theory, deficit-thinking, border theory, and intersectionality among others. VCT consists of 11 tenets that I will briefly explain below: Structures, policies, and processes privileges civilians over veterans In direct relation to higher education, Phillips writes that “today’s colleges, universities, and trade schools are most often led by civilians, taught by civilians, and paradigmatically run with a traditional-aged civilian student in mind” (pg. 600, 2017). This conception of what a “student” is can lead to veterans and other military affiliated students being inadvertently disadvantaged. Consider any aspects that may be making it difficult for veterans to engage with your program. For example, student veterans often have responsibilities outside of just school (jobs, spouses, children, caregiving) – are you offering your program or event during a time when people with families or school-aged children would be able to attend? Additionally, try to validate military experiences and skills. For example, if you are hosting an event about hiring student employees, don’t just emphasize internships as work experience – be explicit that your department accepts military work experience. Acknowledge that it can often be difficult for veterans to translate their military work experience to civilian jobs and encourage any employers to consider all applicable experience when applying. Veterans experience various forms of oppression and marginalization including microaggressions. A common microaggression veterans experience is denial of privacy. Many civilians often approach conversations with veterans expecting a veteran to tell their story. Acknowledge that often veterans want to be perceived from a holistic perspective and they are not the sum of their military experience. Veterans are victims of deficit thinking in higher education. Phillips writes “in the case of student veterans, deficits or more often perceived deficits are blamed on the student veteran when they are more likely a fault of the civilian-oriented and civilian-privileging structures of higher education institutions. Programs that focus on student veteran retention and academic success may be using civilian measures that do not accurately gauge student veteran success.” (pg. 661, 2017). When applied to veterans, deficit-thinking places the burden of reform and correction onto veterans. Assess any outreach efforts from a critical perspective – are you unintentionally promoting deficit-thinking instead of valuing the strengths and unique perspectives that veterans and military affiliated individuals may bring to the table? This can be as simple as reframing any questions or statements to a more positive or affirming light or moving away from the idea that veterans need to conform to a “civilian” mindset after they leave from the military. What ways can you assist a veteran in the transition from military to civilian? Are there ways you can provide direct support? Veterans occupy a third space (country) on the border of multiple conflicting and interacting power structures, languages, and systems. Recognize that veterans experience multiple cultures and identities, including that of being a civilian and being in the military. This often requires intentional shifts in things like behavior and language to assimilate to the “dominate” culture. VCT values narratives and counternarratives of veterans. Veterans are not a monolith, and their experiences are as unique as their service! One size fits all programming won’t work for everyone. What are the ways you can incorporate other perspectives and frameworks into your programming? Within my own work, I try to seek out diverse perspectives from veterans, and this usually looks like refraining from assuming all veterans are men, all veterans were “soldiers” or that all veterans were in combat. Even the experience of being a veteran can be contested among veterans – some veterans don’t feel that their military experience is core to their personal identity, while others place a lot of value and stock in their veteran identity. Structuring your outreach or programming to only serve the latter is doing a disservice to other veterans with counter narratives to what the popular depiction of a veteran is. Veterans experience multiple identities at once. While veteran status is considered a “protected” class, the identity of being a veteran is unique. Other identities (racial, ethnic, gender, sexuality) have intersecting and compounding effects on the veteran experience. Queer veterans, women veterans, or veterans of color may not be inclined to participate in programming targeted towards the broader “veteran” population. Is your programming or event only serving or appealing to one type of veteran? Veterans are constructed (written) by civilians, often as deviant characters. Aligned with deficit-thinking, the characterization of veterans as “deviant” characters run deep, and our assumptions of how veterans think, and act impact the services we provide. While it’s true that many veterans experience complex traumas, it is unfair to assume that all veterans have experienced the same things or react the same way. Overuse of generalized stereotypes (having PTSD, struggling with violence and aggression) not only further marginalizes the veterans who do experience these conditions, but also delegitimize veterans who do not. Veterans are more appropriately positioned to inform policy and practices regarding veterans. Ask the veterans around you for input on your programming! All too often veterans are excluded from the planning and design of programming meant for them. What ways can you imbed yourself within your local veteran community? Some services advertised to serve veterans are ultimately serving civilian interests. Showing interest and care in the community beyond your own programming efforts can go a long way in establishing trust and respect between your institution and the veteran community. Veterans cannot be essentialized. We cannot distill down veteran identity into a list of traits, and our programming should strive to be adaptable and reflective of whatever veteran community we are serving. Veteran culture is built on a culture of respect, honor, and trust. Recognize the uniqueness of military culture and work towards applying some of these values into your programming and framing many of the skills veterans have as a positive instead of focusing on any perceived deficits. The Impact of Applying Veteran Critical Theory to Veteran Programming VCT strives to uplift veteran voices while deconstructing negative stereotypes and paradigms about who veterans are, and the best ways to better serve them. By reviewing outreach efforts through a more critical lens, we open the door to more authentic and genuine connections. One of my biggest accomplishments this past year was securing funding for a library research assistant. This paid opportunity was made specifically for a veteran or military affiliated student and serves as an additional avenue for our campus veterans to have a voice in the research and outreach happening within their community. The goal of this position was to allow a student veteran to be directly involved in my research which seeks to understand how veterans on our campus interact with programming. The more veteran voices I can include within my work, both in my own faculty research and library outreach programming, the more I can help dismantle the monolithic understanding of what it means to be a veteran. My hope is that this research can serve as an opportunity for the diverse opinions of our veteran students to be heard and respected. A Call to Action Support for veterans can look wildly different depending on a variety of factors, but I encourage all folks to consider the tenets of VCT and the ways in which these tenets can be applied in real life; whether that looks like an employer encouraging military work experience or an educator providing classroom support to a veteran while affirming their experiences rather than expecting them to conform to civilian norms. My passion is leveraging diverse veteran voices through outreach and programming, and I believe the framework of VCT is one tool which can help us be more reflective and intentional about how we serve, perceive, and develop programs for our veterans.
Moral Injury: What Is It and How Can Professionals Assist?
Moral Injury: What Is It and How Can Professionals Assist? Lily Annino, Undergraduate Research Assistant Imagine you’re a Service member. Your commanding officer has reason to believe that certain civilians are making bombs at home and will use them against the public. Your unit is tasked with breaking in and finding the bombs. Entering the home is necessary to the mission – but you’ve been told your entire life that breaking into a person’s home is wrong and a violation of their privacy (not to mention against the law). However, you have a mission to fulfill. So, you break in, regardless of your inhibitions. The above scenario is one example of an event that could lead to moral injury. Moral injury is any act, whether perpetrated or witnessed, that may conflict with personal morals or beliefs (Douglas, 2022). While we often think of this conflict in the context of war, other examples of potential moral injury include abuse, rape, and violence (Moral Injury Project, n.d.). And although moral injury may have lasting effects on someone’s life (Litz et al., 2009), it’s still a concept of which many people aren’t fully aware. This article will explain moral injury and discuss some ways that mental health professionals can help Service members and Veterans work through issues related to it. Moral injury is more common than we realize among Service members and Veterans, and it can lead to negative outcomes, such as co-occurring PTSD (Maguen et al., 2022). In one study, 41.8% of veterans reported experiencing at least one form of moral injury; the majority had been betrayed by others or suffered a transgression (Wisco et al., 2017). Dealing with extreme levels of guilt and regret without understanding what you’re going through can be confusing. At the same time, being able to talk to your provider about what you’re dealing with and learning that it’s not abnormal are helpful for Service members (Douglas, 2022). Professionals familiar with the concept of moral injury and with therapeutic approaches that focus on acceptance and self-forgiveness can be beneficial for people working through the effects of moral injury (Maguen & Norman, 2022). Find the best therapist for you. Finding a therapist is like test-driving a car – it’s okay to take your time finding the best fit. It’s important for you to express your experiences freely without having to constantly explain details (e.g., defining acronyms, describing job-specific duties) that are well-known to those in the service (Douglas, 2022). Seek out a therapist who understands military culture and your unique experience as a Service member or Veteran. Connect with your chaplain. Therapists and counselors are trained to help Service members work through moral injury. In addition, military chaplains (i.e., U.S. military’s educated, religious leaders who provide services to Service members and their families) will talk with you regardless of your faith or beliefs. Chaplains combine their knowledge of military culture with their own resource awareness to help those in need. Connecting with a chaplain could benefit you during your healing process. Surround yourself with your support system. According to Chesnut and colleagues, moral injury can lead to the potential impairment of social well-being, social support, and social relationships (Chesnut et al., 2020). Re-engaging with your communities, friends, and family, and increasing your social support may help you in your struggle with moral injury. Moral injury is difficult to deal with due to its negative psychological effects. Nonetheless, there are ways to work through the challenges – such as receiving mental health services – and continue moving forward. If you feel you may be struggling with decisions your service requires of you, surround yourself with your support system and know that there are trained professionals who can help you work through these emotions. To continue learning about moral injury, check out the Military REACH library and access current research summaries, reports, and other educational resources, released monthly. References Chesnut, R. P., Richardson, C. B., Morgan, N. R., Bleser, J. A., Perkins, D. F., Vogt, D., …. Finley, E. (2020). Moral injury and social well-being: A growth curve analysis. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 33(4), 587-597. https://doi.org/10.1002/jts.22567 Douglas, C. V. (2022). A phenological study and investigation of moral Injury with veterans. [Doctoral dissertation, Liberty University]. Digital Commons. https://digitalcommons.liberty.edu/doctoral/3722 Litz, B. T., Stein, N., Delaney, E., Lebowitz, L., Nash, W. P., Silva, C., & Maguen, S. (2009). Moral injury and moral repair in war veterans: A preliminary model and intervention strategy. Clinical Psychology Review, 29(8), 695–706. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2009.07.003 Maguen, S., Griffin, B., Copeland, L., Perkins, D., Richardson, C., Finley, E., & Vogt, D. (2022). Trajectories of functioning in a population-based sample of veterans: Contributions of moral injury, PTSD, and depression. Psychological Medicine, 52(12), 2332-2341. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0033291720004249 Maguen, S., & Norman, S. B. (2022). Moral Injury. National Center for PTSD. 33(1), 1-9. https://www.ptsd.va.gov/publications/rq_docs/V33N1.pdf The Moral Injury Project. (n.d.). What is moral injury? Syracuse University. https://moralinjuryproject.syr.edu/about-moral-injury/the-moral-injury-project/ Wisco, B. E., Marx, B. P., May, C. L., Martini, B., Krystal, J. H., Southwick, S. M., & Pietrzak, R. H. (2017). Moral injury in U.S. combat veterans: Results from the National Health and Resilience in Veterans Study. Depression and Anxiety, 34, 340–347. https://doi.org/10.1002/da.22614
PLANS CHANGE
Life has pretty much been one big, crazy adventure since the day I said “I Do” to my husband. Like many other military couples, we had plans to throw our dream wedding, but as soon as he was given orders overseas, our plans changed. The dream wedding plans quickly fell apart, and we ended up finding a preacher to marry us in his living room while his wife sat in the corner still wearing her pajamas and slippers. At least both sets of our parents were able to attend. Fast forward seven years and two kids later, a wedding doesn’t really seem all that important anymore, and everyone said that would happen. They were right. We have lived overseas all seven years of my husband’s Air Force career. We started out on the beautiful island of Guam, and we are now finishing up a 3 year tour in Belgium. Lucky would be an understatement. Even though we have been blessed by the Assignment gods, life still has its snags. I had just completed my Bachelor’s Degree 3 months before jetting off to Guam. I was a young, child-free, and educated woman ready to take on the working world. The base we lived on was huge with thousands of people. That meant thousands of spouses all competing to get a job. I was not one of the lucky ones. I eventually gave up on trying to get a job and took pleasure in enjoying my new island home and eventually starting a family. I had pretty much settled into the stay-at-home mom life, and I loved it. Once we moved to our next base in Belgium, I was given the opportunity to join the work force again. With only five jobs available to spouses on the entire base, I couldn’t pass on the opportunity. Of course, with my luck I would find out I was pregnant with my second child one week before my hire date. I had finally entered into the adult world again and was determined to take on this new job. Nothing could stop me. I fought through the morning sickness and swollen feet, and here I am two years later. Except now I am working from home unexpectedly like so many other people during this insane plot twist that 2020 has decided to throw us. I went from working alone in my nice and quiet office to working from home with my two new, tiny co-workers. And these new co-workers never stop eating. My husband’s hours have been cut back some, but he is still having to go into work on a regular basis. My job requires me to be available to video chat for a few hours a day, so you can imagine what life has been like with two loud and very needy colleagues. It has been a struggle to say the least, but the biggest struggle of them all is knowing that I will have to give up this job in a couple of months. I have to give up a job that I have invested two years of my life into. I have to give up the people who I have bonded with. I have to give up the confidence in finally knowing my job entirely. And I have to give all of this up because my husband has received a new assignment. I am extremely grateful for the time I have had and the opportunity to travel the world, but I can still feel the sting of losing something that was solely mine. On top of giving all of these things up, I am gaining fears and insecurities of what the near future will bring. If I have to stay home with my kids again, will I be a good enough Mom? Will I lose part of myself? If I am able to find another job, is the daycare trustworthy? Is the money worth it? I know I am not alone in feeling this way, and I know we will figure things out, like we always do. Being flexible is probably one of the most important things you can be as a military spouse. Our futures, especially during this pandemic, are constantly up in the air. I can never answer the question of “where do you see yourself in 5 years”, because well, I have no idea. Every duty station is an opportunity to meet new people, experience new cultures, and embark on new adventures. Each place we have had the honor of visiting now holds a permanent place in our hearts. We can lose ourselves in the fears and insecurities or we can choose to see each new move as a fresh start built on past experiences. Jobs come and go, but having a military community to step into the roles that family normally would fill is priceless, and I wouldn’t change a thing
MINDFUL PARENTING DURING REINTEGRATION
MINDFUL PARENTING DURING REINTEGRATION ByDavina Quichocho, MA When you return home from deployment, everyone is excited that you’re safe and that they get to see you! But as a family, you also have to navigate delicate processes together. Reconnecting with a child you haven’t seen in a few months and who has grown and changed can be challenging. It can also be awkward figuring out who is responsible for what at home – do you go back to the old chores you had before you left, or are there new ones that need your attention? Do you remember how you and your partner like to address team efforts such as disciplining children? All of these adjustments can be stressful. Of course, you are happy to be with the people you love, but that doesn’t mean the stresses of work and the stresses of reintegration are not real. Luckily, mindfulness includes multiple strategies that can help manage the stress linked to reintegration. We have organized these ideas into a table that includes: the specific family tasks you are navigating, the mindful parenting skill that can help, what the skill might look like, and the logic behind why that skill will be helpful. RECENT STORIES Family tasks Mindful parent skill What might that look like? How does it help during reunion? Re-connecting with children Exercising compassion for children Sometimes when children whine and cry, we get stressed and react out of frustration and anger. Pause before you react. Remember that children are only human. They have valid thoughts and feelings but are not as good at managing them as you are. They likely aren’t being difficult on purpose but could probably use some help. Now that you have that in perspective, you can let your reaction soften and show your child(ren) that you are on their side. Helps you “tune in” to your child – what they are feeling, what is causing distress, and the best way to address their needs without being upset with them for having those needs. Gives you a chance to build trust with your child(ren). When they can feel you are open to “getting” their side of things, they will come to you for help more often. Exercising compassion for self If you had a rough day and “blew up” at your child, don’t ruminate on it. You’re only human too! Being stressed while parenting doesn’t mean you don’t love your family, it means that family life is actually more complicated than people give it credit for. Forgive yourself. You may not have been a perfect parent then, but every second offers a new opportunity to be a great parent. Give yourself permission to take this lesson of humility in stride and try again. Reminds you to cut yourself a break! Parenting is hard, and holding yourself to impossible standards will only make it harder. Reduces unnecessary negativity. If you are self-critical, it can bring out difficult emotions like guilt and shame. When you are kind to yourself, you increase the chances that you will engage in parenting with a clear head. Re-negotiating parenting roles and tasks Attentively listening Maybe it feels like someone in your family is criticizing how you are doing a chore. Take a breath. Chances are, they are trying to be helpful even if their communication style isn’t great. Nonetheless, you can bring your communication A-game. Stop, look the person in the eye, and listen. Ask questions that help them specify what they need from you, rather than what they don’t want. Paraphrase back to them to be sure you understand. Sometimes chores don’t need to be optimized, sometimes communication just needs to be optimal, especially with people you love. Encourages you to be open and responsive to your family’s needs without being distracted by your own thoughts. Enhances your ability to collaborate with your family, so everyone can clearly understand one another’s expectations and decide together how to get things done. Helps you to be fully aware of how the renegotiation is going for others and hear helpful suggestions when they come around. Non-judgmental acceptance of self Maybe you love cuddling your child when they’re calm but get worn out with their energy during playtime. Acknowledge that having strengths and weaknesses as a parent is normal. Accepting this will help you know if it’s time to call in reinforcements (family/babysitter). Doing this before you’re running on empty will help you stay fueled for parenting in the long run. Reminds you that there is no way to be a perfect parent. Parenting isn’t pure joy – there are ups and downs! Pushes you to see difficult moments as normal and gives you confidence that you and your family can figure things out together. Emotional awareness of self and child Sometimes children feel emotions so strongly, it’s easy to get swept away with them. Keep your empathetic side engaged so you can understand where your child is coming from and help them deal with that. But also keep tabs on what emotions you are experiencing and how strong they are. Commit to taking deep breaths or a brief break if you’re getting overwhelmed. Enhances your ability to be calm and purposeful (rather than reactive/automatic). Brings organization so you can keep your emotional reaction separate from your child’s. Helps you appreciate both positive and negative experiences. Managing mental health Self-regulation If you carry stress from your deployment, it can pop up when you least expect it, and your child may feel at fault. Keeping tabs on your emotions and engaging in healthy coping will nurture your mental health and set a good example for your child. Eating, sleeping, and exercising well can keep stress and overwhelming emotions at bay. Activities like deep breathing and grounding can help if you’re already stressed out. Prompts to you to practice healthy ways of coping with stress, so you protect your mental health over time. Helps you express emotions in an appropriate and helpful way. Healthy expression preserves mental health and support networks! Non-judgmental acceptance and attentively listening Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent. Put forth your best effort to keep yourself healthy, including realizing when you need help without beating yourself up for it. However, don’t give up on your parenting strengths while you seek resources. Tune into your child and connect. Seeing them thrive on this small action can fuel hope and change. Helps you set aside unhelpful expectations and instead focus on living in your current parenting moment. Related Stories in References Gewirtz, A. H., DeGarmo, D. S., & Zamir, O. (2018). Testing a military family stress model. Family process, 57(2), 415-431. Link to Source Giff, S. T., Renshaw, K. D., & Allen, E. S. (2019). Post-deployment parenting in military couples: Associations with service members’ PTSD symptoms. Journal of Family Psychology, 33(2), 166-175. Link to Source
PERSPECTIVES OF SERVICE AMONG WOMEN SERVICE MEMBERS AND VETERANS
March is celebrated annually as Women\u2019s History Month, a period during which we reflect on the contributions and successes of women throughout American history. Although until recently women were restricted from military service, they have no doubt supported the United States Armed Forces in a variety of roles since the beginning of our nation. More women are dedicating their lives to military service, thus highlighting an opportunity to better understand what the military woman\u2019s experience looks like today. Military REACH connected with five active duty and Veteran women to gain insight into the experience of military women, including both the strengths and challenges of serving as a woman, and their perspectives on the future for women in the military. \n\n\n\n\n#### What motivated you to join the Armed Forces?\n\n\n Military service is not a career path chosen easily \u2013 service requires dedication, strength, and resilience. Still, there are many women who find pride in the challenge of becoming a \u201cwarrior.\u201d For some, military service provides stability and opportunities to advance: \n\n\n\n > The financial stability it provided and the education opportunity were the biggest driving factors for my enlistment and later commission.\u201d \u2013 [Adara, Marine Corps, Active Duty]\n\n\n\n For others, the motivation to serve is driven by military family or friend connections: \n\n\n\n > Family business \u2013 3rd generation military and 3rd generation dual military [family]. \u2013 [Lee, Air Force Reserves, Active Duty/Veteran]\n\n\n\n\n > My friend\u2019s dad was an Army helicopter pilot so I decided in 2nd grade I wanted to be a pilot in the military after trying on his helmet. \u2013 [Becky, Air Force, Veteran]\n\n\n\n\n > My next door neighbor was KIA in Iraq in 2008, and I wanted to honor his memory. \u2013 [Sarah Lynn, Air Force, Active Duty]\n\n\n\n\n\n#### How did your friends and family react to your decision to serve?\n\n\n Although women who choose to serve are resolved in their decision, they may or may not get mixed feedback from their loved ones. Families and friends may show support for enlistment or commission when they have a prior connection to, or understanding of, military service: \n\n\n\n > A lot [of my loved ones] felt like it was a good fit and modeled my earlier high school accomplishments within the Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps. A few others were somewhat surprised, not at my deciding to enlist, but my decision to join the Marine Corps.\u201d \n\u2013 [Adara]\n\n\n\n\n> At the onset, I don\u2019t think a lot of my family thought that I was serious (I come from a traditional family and military service was a boy\u2019s prerogative). Once they realized that I was serious, my family was very supportive. My friends were concerned that it wasn\u2019t a safe job for a woman to have. \u2013 [Sarah Lynn]\n\n\n\n\n> [I was] fully supported \u2013 in fact my whole family was Navy enlisted, and I was encouraged to go officer in the Air Force. \u2013 [Lee]\n\n\n\n In some cases, however, women who choose to serve were even discouraged by those in their support network: \n\n\n\n > I didn\u2019t grow up in a military area and most people tried to talk me out of it. I was putting together models of airplanes and going to airshows, but people just thought it was cute. My 8th grade teacher gave me a D on a career assignment because I didn\u2019t put any backup options after military pilot. \u2013 [Becky]\n\n\n\n\n\n#### Were there any service-related challenges you experienced that are unique to women in military service?\n\n\n As history has shown, being a woman in the military is no easy task. In fact, as Becky suggests, there are \u201clots of [challenges].\u201d One challenge mentioned by Lee is \u201cbalancing work and life,\u201d as women must manage their roles at home (e.g., spouse, parent) and at work as a Service member. An additional challenge is facing gender-based issues. The ratio between men and women Service members is heavily skewed toward men, as approximately 1 in 16 active duty Service members are women: \n\n\n\n > I do not know that I view it always as a challenge, but you often find yourself as the only woman in the room. I do not personally find that to be a challenge, but it is a common factor. Also, I am a shorter stature at five foot three inches and that is not the ideal load bearing body frame for carrying 100 pounds of gear. Overall, I always viewed myself as the same regarding going through all the mental and physical challenges as the males.\u201d \n\u2013 [Adara]\n\n\n\n\n > Generally, women\u2019s uniforms are more difficult to find. Women\u2019s health care is also an ongoing concern.\u201d \n\u2013 [Sarah Lynn]\n\n\n\n\n\n#### What are the advantages of being a woman Service member?\n\n\n It is understandable that some women Service members don\u2019t feel their identity as a woman is advantageous to their career in a male-dominated field. One woman Service member suggested that she works hard to meet the expectations of men Service members. \n\n\n\n > Within the service, I do not believe there are any advantages [to being a woman Service member]. In fact, I would say it is much more challenging to be a woman in the service\u2026However within the service, there are still unspoken barriers in some commands, positions, or jobs where you have to prove you are capable. \u2013 [Adara]\n\n\n\n However, another Service member reflects on the relationships she built with other military women during her service: \n\n\n\n > The network of women supporting women is absolutely fantastic. \u2013 [Sarah Lynn]\n\n\n\n Although there are limitations within military service, some women Service members choose to focus on how their service will inspire the next generation of women in the military: \n\n\n\n > You can inspire young girls. It\u2019s important for kids to see someone who looks like them doing something they never thought about doing before. When I saw a female in a flight suit, I was speechless and couldn\u2019t even talk to her because suddenly it was real- it was something that could actually happen. \u2013 [Becky]\n\n\n\n > Helping grow the next generation and showing our children that you can manage and wear many hats in the world. - [Lee] \n\n\n\n\n#### What changes do you hope to see in the future related to attitudes toward women Service members and Veterans?\n\n\n Women have fought throughout history to be recognized for their contributions to our nation\u2019s Armed Forces and their capabilities to serve in increasing ways. Still, women have much further to go before respect and equality is achieved for women Service members and Veterans. Women in the military have expressed several areas of concern for which they hope to see change: \n\n\n\n> The biggest change I hope to see is acceptance within the Veteran community. There is deep tradition felt to uphold values and continue traditions. Within the Veteran population, many have no idea how much has changed and continues to change that in no way dishonors legacy and tradition; there is just a woman in uniform. - [Adara]\n\n\n\n\n> We\u2019ve come a long way since I was starting in the military, but that doesn\u2019t mean we don\u2019t have a lot more work to do. I\u2019m encouraged when I see young women who are strong in who they are and aren\u2019t afraid to use their voice. I felt grateful to be able do the things I did, but I think it\u2019s time to stop feeling grateful and just be empowered. - [Becky]\n\n\n\n\n> As far as future changes related to attitudes toward women Service members and Veterans, I am afraid that will have to be changed and taught to every child at an early stage to treat, respect, and protect women equally. That includes equal pay for equal work, and punishment for disrespect. Women need to be able to speak up without retaliation.\u201d - [Connie] \n\n\n\n> We still see women underrepresented at all levels in the military. It\u2019s still seen as an anomaly to see a female general, and we need to get to a point where that is no longer surprising. I hope to see more comprehensive medical coverage for female military members and more post-service support for female Veterans. - [Sarah Lynn]\n\n\n\n\n\n#### What advice would you give to women interested in joining the Armed Forces?\n\n\n Having faced the gender-related challenges in military, women Service members and Veterans reflect on their careers to formulate advice to women considering entering service. Their testimonies offer both encouragement and career advice: \n\n\n\n> Do it! Find one of the career choices that sounds interesting to you and go for it. Maybe you find something along the way that\u2019s an even better fit. Either way, enjoy the ride! Also, failures truly make you stronger. If you don\u2019t learn from it, it\u2019s a wasted experience. - [Becky]\n\n\n\n\n> Go For It \u2013 find a supportive group of people who empower you and kick butt \u2013 you can do anything.\u201d - [Lee] \n\n\n\n> I would say be very familiar with the regulations and learn your job well so that you bring your best attributes to the mission set. Over time, professionalism makes every individual successful, but particularly for women in service that can still find themselves in the need-to-prove themselves situation. Lastly, aim to be within male physical fitness standards at each opportunity. There is no reason you can\u2019t do it also. - [Adara]\n\n\n\n\n> Start building arm strength early, get to know the other women around you, and you can do anything you put your mind to! - [Sarah Lynn]\n\n\n\n Military REACH *would like to give special thanks to Adara, Becky, Lee, Connie, and Sarah Lynn for sharing their stories and for their service to our country.*\n\n\n\n
“THERE IS NO COMMUNITY LIKE THE MILITARY COMMUNITY”
This month we interviewed Holly Nusom, Research & Evaluation Associate at Penn State University and active-duty Army spouse. Holly shared with us some of the challenges and benefits of being a military family and how she and her family have navigated military life for the past 17 years. What have been some of the biggest challenges you have faced that are unique to being a military family? The constant moving. Just when you feel settled in your home and community, it seems like it’s time to pack up again. I wouldn’t change these experiences, though. Each duty station has introduced my family to wonderful people, new experiences, and made us more resourceful and resilient. Sometimes, the moves lead to more (or less) family time, or more (or less) desirable weather and amenities. We’ve always lived far away from extended family, so we’ve built our own “family” networks with neighbors, friends, and people in my husband’s unit. I’ve learned to dive right into the new community upon arrival, sometimes even before we get there! I know to search for the local gym, the spouses club, sports and activity programs for my kids, and venture out to local events to help us get a feel for and get involved in our new community. And I make myself aware of the new military families coming in. Not everyone dives right in, and many just need a warm welcome or invitation to come explore with you. What are the most helpful benefits you receive from being a military family? The community. No matter where you go as an Army family, there is a community. Sometimes it greets you upon arrival, and other times you have to seek it out. We tend to prefer to live on post, where the schools are often within walking distance, parks are nearby, and the neighborhood speed limits of 15 are strictly enforced. My school-age kids are able to play without direct supervision or coordinated play dates. There is a sense of safety and belonging that is unmatched outside the gate. What we may give up in home size far exceeds what we often gain in community. Now, we live in a newer neighborhood in town that has a strong military presence, with many active-duty and retiree families. This has offered a bit of the best of both worlds for my family—a home that fits us all and the friendly, supportive community. I do miss those speed limits and the convenience of a nearby commissary, though! Tell me about your experience with PCS moves. We have moved every 6 months-3 years since my husband joined the military. The prep and planning has been more challenging as we’ve grown our family, but we’ve learned to embrace the changes. Living on post or in a military-heavy neighborhood means that most of your friends and neighbors are also military families, so they are continuously moving in or moving out, too. Moving is normalized—it’s sad, but also exciting. As my kids get older, moving has been harder for them, especially as they make more friends from civilian families. Social media and video messaging helps. I’m sad to leave my friends, too, but more and more, we have friends to reconnect with waiting for us at our next duty station. I suppose that is a benefit that comes with being a military family for so long. Tell me about your experience with Soldier and Family Readiness Groups? I have seen SFRGs serve as a source of community, support, and encouragement for most of my husband’s military career. During deployments, they’re the main source of unit-related information, but they’ve been so much more than that. An SFRG is a group of Soldiers and families all experiencing military life in a similar manner—the OPTEMPO training (e.g., pace of training, unit activities) and deployment demands are the same for most everyone in the SFRG. Gathering together with the SFRG has been awesome for my kids as well. They see that other kids have a parent deployed or away training, and they often look forward to the “meetings” where families gather, kids play, and meals are often shared. I’ve seen SFRG events and fundraisers shine a spotlight on the organizational abilities, creative talents, and leadership skills of many military spouses who may have found their careers put on hold due to family responsibilities or limited career opportunities in the area. Most of all, I have experienced the vital relationship building among Soldiers and family members that demonstrates our commitment to caring for one another. Tell me about your career. How has military life affected your career? What resources have you used to assist you in your career? What project (from work) are you most proud of? How has military life not affected my career?!? LOL. I will say that the greatest impact to my career has been how we grew our family early on and the repeated moves. I know that our stay in any one location is limited, sometimes to only a year. Sometimes, we are unsure just how long we will live in a particular location. However, the moves have made me a flexible planner. As a military spouse, I was able to take advantage of the MyCAA program when it first rolled out to help me take the courses I needed to renew my teaching license. An unexpected pregnancy with twins(!) made heading back into the classroom a hurdle I wasn’t interested in overcoming, so I spent a number of years volunteering on the installation within the SFRG and with the American Red Cross. These volunteer experiences kept me engaged with my community, allowed me a nice respite from kid care, and provided me with some work-related experience that I was able to put on a resume. This, combined with my education, has kept me competitive for employment. When an opportunity came available a few years ago, I applied and was offered the position (Research & Evaluation Associate, Penn State University). Thanks to an understanding employer, I transitioned into a remote role, where I continued working for another 3 years. Meanwhile, I also carved out time to volunteer in meaningful roles in my military community. I recently accepted a new position in my current community and am now transitioning into that role. Leaving a remote position was a tough choice but was necessary due to some of the limitations of being remote. Each experience, whether it has been paid work or volunteer work, has helped me advance in my professional life. It has not been easy, but we’ve made it work, and I think having to navigate the challenges has made me more confident and competent. I see many military spouses doing the same! Having a support network of other career ready military spouses has been helpful to me as well. There is no hurdle that another military spouse hasn’t had to overcome, and many are willing to share their hows and whys. We learn from and encourage one another, and recently, many employers have taken notice of the value a military spouse can bring to their organization. The career opportunities for military spouses continue to grow and we are ready to meet the need! What do you want civilian families to know about military families? We want what you want: safe communities where we—service members, spouses, and our children—can belong, learn, and grow into productive members of society. We may not be in your community for long, but we will leave a positive lasting impact if you let us. Say hello, invite us into your circles, and wish us well when we leave. We will miss you, too, but it will be worth it.
"WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO ACCEPT THE PARADOX OF MILITARY LIFE"
The Military REACH team at Auburn University is on a mission to connect with military families. When I accepted their invitation, I was already an avid REACH fan. I discovered Military REACH two years ago and instantly appreciated their mission – to make research about military families accessible and practical. Their monthly newsletter and the included TRIP (Translating Research into Practice) reports provide smart and succinct summaries of current military family research. Readers also get an objective evaluation of the research and a snapshot of the implications for military families and those who support them. Each month I find information that resonates with issues I see daily in my work with military families and even in my own family. The work of Military REACH helps illuminate a clearer line of thinking and formulates ideas for tackling tough military family issues. If you do not already [subscribe to the newsletter](https://militaryreach.auburn.edu/Updates), I recommend you start today. The Military REACH team’s emerging effort to connect with military families adds exponentially to the importance and value of their work. To explain, I’ll share my experience as a military spouse. My name is Lauren O’Donnell. I am a proud military spouse of nearly 30 years. My daily work involves advocating for military families by listening and learning, referring to resources, and influencing decisions in the interest of military families. I work to build community among military families wherever I am, encouraging other military spouses to step into the responsibility and privilege of building relationships and guiding and supporting other military families. My husband is an active-duty Army officer serving in units at the tip of the spear in support of our national defense. In June he returned from a five-month deployment with the 82nd Airborne Division, his eighth deployment. I proudly supported him by managing the decisions and the work at home while also supporting other spouses of deployed Soldiers. I have two children, 20 and 17, who are resilient and proud of their father’s service. They embrace military life and identify as military children. We are an Army family and the military mentality of strength, courage, perseverance, and service runs strong in our blood. I am also Lauren O’Donnell, a driven professional frustrated by an inability to reach career goals thwarted by frequent military moves. I empathize with military families who struggle to overcome the tough obstacles of military life such as constant relocations, separations, disconnection, and danger. I mourn the strained relationships, the divorces, the identity crises, the injuries to body and mind, the exhaustion of caregiving, and the pain of losing a loved one. I feel guilt when passing the yoke of volunteer expectations to other spouses because they are tired of the tremendous sacrifice those expectations require. I worry about my husband and the toll the military’s relentless pace has on his body and mind. I am exhausted by the thought of continued service -- more deployments, more responsibilities, more “going it alone.” I am concerned about the effects of this lifestyle on my children, who lack educational continuity, the steady support of a two-parent home, and a friend-group that shelters them from feeling isolated and alone. I believe that our military mentality is not always understood or appreciated by our civilian family members, neighbors, and communities. This causes anxiety for me as our family looks ahead to assimilation into a civilian community after leaving the military. Like most military families, my family lives, works, plays, and plans in this antinomy between pride and frustration, courage and fear, strength and exhaustion, and togetherness and isolation. To continue, we have no choice but to accept this paradox of military life. After 30 years, I see clearly that military families cultivate a tolerance for this discomfort and accept this unending tension. We learn to sacrifice, compromise, and adapt to the pervasive push and pull of military life. We accept the challenge, lean on one another, and hope that others, especially those entrusted with supporting military families, recognize, understand, and help us overcome the challenges inherent to military life. Thankfully, a growing effort is underway by government, research institutions, think tanks, military-connected organizations, non-profits, and corporations to better understand and act on the needs of our Service members, Veterans, their families, and our military communities. From health care to employment to education to civilian-military connection, there is a continued "WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO ACCEPT THE PARADOX OF MILITARY LIFE" commitment to address problems faced by military families. The rigorous efforts of these entities to produce worthwhile data, formulate solutions, and generate results to improve the lives of military families is tremendous. As someone who has experienced military life firsthand for over 30 years, I also sense a tension between the binary outcomes of data collection and the multi-layered personal stories of military life. I wonder if the research is getting to the heart of the perspective we need. The truth is, the research often leaves me feeling boxed in, left out, and misunderstood. As I’ve learned from my military lifestyle, the best solution to this tension is the hope that we can work together to find a better way. The Military REACH team is intent on achieving this goal. In their work to elevate current research about military families to something more meaningful, useful, and transformative, they want to link research with experience, data with stories, and those who analyze data with those who contribute their lived experience. Through this undertaking and connection, we gain greater perspective and a deeper understanding of military culture, military life, and the needs of those who serve and their families. The knowledge from both research and experience will lead to new and better-informed ideas to create ground-breaking change in the lives of military families. Military REACH is taking substantive steps towards this goal. Let’s join them. If you are a military family member who would like to connect with the Military REACH team, [complete this brief survey](https://auburn.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_2lf4hvgJuQhg4YZ). [Subscribe to the REACH newsletter](https://militaryreach.auburn.edu/Updates) to get their important work delivered right to your inbox. You can also follow Military REACH on [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/MilitaryREACH/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/MilitaryREACH), or visit the [Military REACH website](https://militaryreach.auburn.edu/).